Her
by crazychick0127
Summary: My answer to the question, what if you stayed? Something has happened to shake Jax's world. Set during present time, includes flashbacks Jax/Tara . This is my first fanfiction. Please read and review.
1. Her

**These characters do not belong even though I wish they did...they belong to Kurt Sutter**

* * *

Watching her laying there anyone would think that she was sleeping, but I knew better than that. I had spent almost every night in the same bed with her since I was fifteen. She always tosses and turns when she sleeps, always waking me up by hitting me in the head or some shit like that. It wasn't until we were sixteen that I realized if I held her through the night then she would stay still. But now in this very moment sitting in the hard chair next to her bed I wish that she would start tossing around. That would mean that she was just sleep and would wake up at any moment not unconscious.

This is my fault. That's all I've been thinking of for the last three hours. The doctor keeps coming in to check on her, but there's no change. He keeps asking me if there is someone that he can call. I am her someone. Her mom died when we were nine and her dad is the one that kicked her out. That was my fault too. None of this would have happened if I had let her go when she had the chance, but I was too selfish and now she was the one paying the price. I was still waiting for Opie to find Gemma. Someone needs to be here if she wakes up and I need to find the people that did this to her, there was no way that there wasn't going to be retaliation. The door opened again, probably just another stupid nurse coming in for the millionth time.

"They are waiting for you before they do anything." Gemma said putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Someone needs to stay here incase..."

"I'll stay, you go and take care of this" she said cutting me off.

I got up and walked to the door without ever looking her in the eyes. I was almost out the door when I heard the question I didn't want to think about.

"Did they say anything about…"

"yeah its gone" I say without turning to face her and continue to stalk out the door.

This has been the longest day of my life and I knew it was just the beginning.

On the long drive to the clubhouse all I could think of was everything they ruined. Fifteen years. We have known each other for fifteen years. She was my everything. I was there for her when her mom died and she was there for me in the same way years later when my dad died. She supported me through the trails of the club even when she didn't believe they were right. She wasn't my first but she was supposed to be my last. The last two years were filled with the biggest highs and lows for us. We were fighting more then ever, but we would always make up and that was worth it. She was the first girl to ride on the back of my bike. Was the person I was arrested with the first three times I was arrested. Starting at fifteen her dad's drinking got over the top and she started spending every night at my place. Mom and Clay knew but they wouldn't say anything, they knew she was safer in our home. We both always knew that there was something there but I didn't want to mess up the best relationship in my life. Girls wouldn't stick around me very long which was the way I liked it. Once they saw that they weren't going to replace her and that she would always come first they gave up and hit the road. I never brought anyone home, that was a place only for her. The other girls would be taken at the clubhouse and after a few good rounds they would be gone. It's crazy how one night can change everything.

Her and Opie's girl of the moment, Amanda, went out to the bar. They never had to worry about getting carded because everyone knew how close they were to SAMCRO. It was after three in the morning and I was surprised that she still hadn't shown up, but I left the window open for her and my cell phone on incase the bartender called me to pick her up. I was almost asleep when I heard her fall through the window knocking over the chair and everything on it. She laughed long and hard as I moved to help her up and over to the bed.

"You have a good time with Amanda?" I ask not hiding the smile because I already knew the answer.

"That bitch is such a lightweight she was under the table hours ago, but I ran into Jenny and had a few drinks with her. I need to talk to Opie about his selection in girls yet again.

I smile and lay her down on her side of the bed, taking off her shoes and socks as she talks. I lift the cover up over her before going to lie down next to her so that we are staring eye to eye. We laid there in silence for a while. She smelled like beer and smoke, not a usual smell for her but I liked it.

"You know you have really beautiful eyes did you know that?"

"A compliment from you, you must be wasted" I chuckle. She doesn't answer. She pushed herself off the bed and her lips crash onto mine, her tongue thrusting itself into my mouth. I can taste the mingle of alcohol and I know I need to stop this, but I can't break away, her lips are soft and urgent at the same time. We have made out before, actually we had done more than just make out before on a few occasions, mostly when we are both drunk but we pass out before it gets out of hand. She didn't show any sign that she was going to pass out anytime soon tonight. She pushed herself up so that she was lying on top of me and it took everything in me to push her away. Her lips were red and swollen it made me want to pull her back down and continue where we left off but I resisted the urge.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't help but laugh at the annoyance in her voice.

"You are way too wasted for this" I inform her trying to push her off of me, but she was putting up a fight.

"I'm not that wasted. The room isn't spinning, I know what two plus two is and I know that this is what I want, now will you please shut up and kiss me."

I was about to say something but her lips attached mine before I could get anything out. She pulls her shirt over her head and I see that she knows what she's doing. She is so beautiful. I roll her onto her back and pull off her jeans in one fluid motion. I have taken clothes off a number of girls but when it came to taking off the last few pieces I just couldn't do it. She's a virgin, I'm taking something away from her she can never get back. I wouldn't have thought twice about taking someone's virginity except this was my best friend and I actually cared about her feelings. She must have gotten impatient because she begins to take off those last pieces by herself. That was the last sign I needed to step up myself.

She was warm underneath me. I started slow and gentle and she kept begging for more. My name passed her lips and as hushed moan and we both lost ourselves in that moment. The sound of panting was all that filled the room. I held her through the night, it was the most peaceful night either of us had ever had. She's the only one who made their way into my bed and into my heart and after that night she never left either.


	2. There's no place like home

***Author's Note: This story does take place in the present time and the things that have happened in season one and two of the show have happened in this story except of course for Wendy and Abel. ****

I pulled up in front of the clubhouse and stormed inside. I didn't need to say anything, everyone followed me in the chapel.

Clay was the first one to say something.

"Before anything is done, Jax, we want you to know that you have the support of all of the SONS and that if you need anything we are here for you. How is she doing?"

"Not well they had to do emergency surgery and she still hasn't woken up yet." I look around at my brothers, "this was not some random jacking whoever did this did it because of me. I need to know who did this."

Tig stepped in like he always does. He never liked her because she saw through his bullshit.

"How do you know that? Maybe she just pissed off someone at the hospital, maybe she didn't give a junkie that fix that they were asking for and they took her down."

"Anyone of those junkies would be too stoned to take her down, she knows how to fight back, this was personal. They took a match to her back, they knew who she was." Anger broke through as my voice grew louder and louder. Clay broke up the argument he saw brewing between Tig and I.

"Juice and Bobby go down to the hospital find out what people were there and what they saw. Tig and I will go talk to Unser and see what the cops have been able to find out." Clay looked me in the eye and said, "you need to go home and get some sleep, you look like shit.

I shake my head, "no, I need to do something. I need some news to tell her when I go back to the hospital."

"You need to sleep, you're no good to us when your like this, you will get sloppy." Clay bangs down the gavel and the meeting is over.

I can't go home and find the house empty like we left it this morning. I drag my legs down the hall to my old bedroom and fall down on the bed. I know I'm not going to be able to sleep anytime soon. I close my eyes and think about the day she got the tattoo that was no longer there anymore.

I had been patched for almost a year even though I was still in high school. I never actually went to classes anymore, the club had a deal with everyone of my teachers so I wasn't worried about not passing my classes. I waited outside school on my bike smoking a cigarette, like I did almost everyday. The bell rang and a few minutes later out walked my girl. She was wearing the leather jacket I got her last year for Christmas, she said that it cost too much, but deep down I knew that she loved it. I threw away the cigarette before she got too close, I know she hates the habit. When she was close enough I threw her my helmet. She glared at me. I know the lecture coming about how I need to wear one too, but I grab her hips and kiss her before she can say anything. When she pulls away she slides onto the back of the bike without a word.

Instead of driving the normal way home I take a different turn. I don't need to tell her anything she already knows where we are going. We have talked about it a few times and today felt like the right day.

She hopped off the bike the minute it stopped moving in front of the Tony's Tattoo shop.

"Your mother is going to slip when she finds out."

I laughed, "let me deal with my crazy mom." I smiled when she all but skipped through the shop doors.

Tony was at the front desk when we walked in. Tony was the same guy that did all of the SONS and their old lady's work. It took him a few minutes to draw up the stencil and then he called her back. She got up and made her way through the certain to the back room. I was almost through the curtain when she turned on her heels and put her hand on my chest stopping me.

"Where do you think your going?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"With you" for such a smart girl she was really dumb sometimes.

"Not your not. This is a surprise. You will stay in the lobby and wait patiently." She said in a very stern voice.

"I am not a very patient man." I say leaning in.

"I promise I will make it worth your while" she said batting her eyelashes like she always did when she wanted something.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, if he takes more than thirty minutes I'm coming in there after you."

My eyes roam over her body as she turns and walks into the back room.

Twenty minutes later I am sick of waiting and am about to walk into the backroom when she comes out looking the same way she did as when she went in. I eye her up and down trying to find it but I don't see anything. I wonder if she chickened out.

"Thanks again Tony."

"Enough" he says and I catch a weird tone in his voice. I ignore it because I am more interested in finding the tattoo. We don't say anything the whole way to my mom's house. No one will be home for hours. Mom had been acting weird ever since we went from friends to more than friends.

We get to the house and head straight into my bedroom where she goes and sits on my bed.

"So how bad was it" I question her.

"Not as bad as I thought it was going to be".

"So….when do I get to see it, I waited very patiently."

"yeah right….you don't know where it is do you?" She said with a small laugh.

"Well you wanted to surprise me, so you got what you wanted."

"ok I think I've made you wait long enough, close your eyes."

I know she wants to do this her way so I don't put up a fight. I hear her taking off her jacket and the tape covering the tattoo.

"OK open them."

When I open my eyes her back is facing me and my eyes are automatically drawn to the dark black crow design on her lower back. I want to touch it, to make sure it is really real, but her voice breaks me out of my trance.

"What do you think? She asked unsure of what to think since I hadn't said anything yet.

"Well, I don't know" her head shoots backward to look me in the eyes. "I mean I love it, I think it is beautiful and sexy, but this is suppose to show everyone that your mine but too see it they have to check out your ass and then it will already be too late for them cause I'll smash their faces in." I see relief flow through her eyes.

"So your ok with this, you like it?"

"yes and yes" I say turning her around and holding her face in my hands. "I should be asking you those questions you're the one that just got yourself attached to me for forever you ready for that".

"I've been ready since day one" I kiss her gently not wanting to hurt her anywhere.

"And not only do I love it, but I think it looks pretty badass on you, very hot" she laughs and kisses me with much more intensity then before.

She was always up for trying anything in bed, but I know she liked she classics and I did too. The biggest reason was because I would get to watch the crow move up and down with her movements. It was the biggest turn on for me, knowing that she got this for me and it showed everyone that she belonged to me for forever. It breaks my heart to know that I will never get to see that view again. Chibbs knocking on the door snapped me back to the present.

"Jackie boy meeting in the chapel".

My body is sore as I stand up. I hate not sleeping in my own bed wrapped around her. I head out to the chapel ready to face the fight ahead.

Everyone was waiting for me in the chapel.

"So what do we know?" I asked as I sat down at the table.

Clay started, "Unser said that Hale was running point on the investigation. Hale said that they don't have any real leads and that the security cameras were busted the day of her attack."

"Well glad to know that the Charming police are doing all they can," I say sarcastically. "What did you two find out?" I ask nodding at Juice and Bobby. Juice answered, "We talked to some of the nurses and admit people. They said that there were two white guys hanging around most of the day, recognized NORD tattoos."

"I am going to kill Darby, first they bring drugs to our town and now this, he is dead."

"We can't jump on this, we need to find the two guys. Going after Darby will only bring us trouble." Clay said trying to reason with me.

"There are two new guys on Darby's payroll, Lila said that she didn't recognize the guys which means they are new to the group." Juice informed the group.

"There we go, we got any idea where they are now," I ask Juice knowing that he will be the one to have the information I need.

"Wait, wait! We don't know why they would do this" Clay said stopping me in my tracks.

"They did this because we burned down the meth lab. This has pushed back on my family and if you don't want to take care of this then I will do it myself!" I say making my opinion known. I stare down Clay. I wasn't giving in to him this time. I was his family and she was my family so by extension he should be looking out for her too, he knew that I wasn't giving up on this anytime soon and quickly gave in.

"Fine, take Opie and Chibbs with you and make sure you get the right guys, I don't need Darby pulling some bullshit on us because you took out innocent people." Clay says. I give him a look because he is not one to talk about making mistakes, but I let it go so that I can take care of business.

We find them up in a bar in Lodi. Walking into the bar I knew who to look for, the two people that I didn't recognize. Opie and Chibbs stood and watched my back as I beat them to death. Afterwards I feel justified in my actions but they bring me no relief because she is still not awake. When everything is taken care of instead of heading back to the club with the guys I decide now is the time that I need to go to the hospital.


	3. The decision heard round the town

I still hadn't slept but I needed to see her. It was taken care of and we were going to get past this she just needed to wake up. When I entered her room I found Gemma asleep in the large chair next to her bed. The movement of my hand on her shoulder woke her up.

"No change?" I ask.

"No, not yet but the doctor said that she should be waking up soon." She paused. "Did you get everything taken care of?" she asked.

"Yeah" I keep my eyes on her still body. I pull the other chair next to her and sit down. Mom doesn't know what to say, she had been like a mother to her too. I guess when you loose your mom when you're nine years old you would try to find a mother figure to look up to, plus mom always did want a girl.

I break the silence, "I was going to ask her to marry me." I don't know why I'm telling her this, I guess I just wanted someone to know that I had plans for our future. Gemma's eyes burn on the side of my face.

"I bought a ring two weeks ago, I was waiting for the right time to ask her, but things kept coming up and it just didn't seem that important cause there was always tomorrow." I continue.

"And there will be another tomorrow and a whole shit load after that."

"We were going to be a family her and I."

"Jesus Christ Jax your talking like she is dead or something, you can still ask her when she wakes up." Gemma scolded me.

"No this is going to change everything."

"Well that's true. She is going to need you more now than ever before." She pauses waiting for me to say something, but I don't have anything to say to her anymore. "Ok, well I'm gonna go home, call me if anything changes," she gives me a kiss before leaving.

I feel the tiredness take over my body and I lay my head on my hands that are now holding hers and think about the conversation that lead us here.

* * *

We had just graduated and I knew something was wrong, she wasn't acting like herself, being real quiet. I pulled her away from the party that my mom was throwing for us to get it out of her. That's when she showed it to me, the acceptance letter from UCSD, her number one school. I knew that she was going to leave.

"I haven't made a decision yet, I wanted to talk to you." She said like she knew what I was thinking.

"What do you need to talk to me for, this is your decision. It has nothing to do with me." I tell her trying to act like it doesn't mean anything to me.

"Jax that is bullshit and you know it. This has everything to do with you. What happens to us if I go?" she asks with pleading eyes.

"Then it's been fun."

"You could come with me." She says like she really believes that is an option.

"You know I can't do that, but this is your chance. You've always wanted out of Charming so go ahead get as far away as you can." I didn't know what I was saying. She knew that if she left then that was it, a long distance thing would never work, not even with us. I was beyond crazy in love with her, the I gotta be with you every moment of the day or I'm gonna kill myself kinda love, but that didn't mean anything to distance.

"Go ahead go be the amazing doctor that you want to be." I say anger seeping through my voice.

"I can be a doctor anywhere, go to school anywhere, but I need to hear it."

"Hear what?" I ask her shrugging my shoulders.

"You know what, don't act stupid it doesn't suit you. I love you more than anything and would do anything for you. I just need to hear that you need me as much as I need you!" She says raising her voice.

That is the problem with knowing your girlfriend for most of your life, she knows you just as well as you know yourself, it drives me crazy when she does that and the frustration rings through my voice.

"FINE! You want me to say it, so that you can hold it over my head for the rest of my life."

"No that is not why I want you to say it, it isn't something I want to hold over your head you stupid jackass I need to hear it because I need to know how you feel!"

"God damn it, fine! I want you to stay in Charming. I want you to stay with me. I don't know what I would do without you. I can't see myself functioning without you. There are you happy now!"

"Yes that's all I needed was that so fucking hard!?"

"So what now your staying!?"

"Yeah I'm staying!"

"Great"

"Great" she repeated at me. By now the whole party had made their way outside to watch the show. We both stormed off in opposite directions and stayed that way for most of the night. We eventually did make up later that night and I made sure to show her how happy I was that she was staying.

* * *

I asked her to stay for me and she did without a second thought. If I had let her go she wouldn't be in a hospital bed right now. I can feel myself about to loose it when I feel a soft small hand squeeze mine. I look up to find her eyes trying to focus on me.

"Hey babe you're awake." I kiss her relieved to see her chocolate eyes searching mine.

"How long was I out?" she asked in a husky voice deep with sleep.

"Too long" I move to sit on the bed to face her.

"What happened?" she moves and winces in pain.

"You got attached after work, do you remember anything?"

"no" she responds shaking her head as she surveys her body, the shoulder, check surgery incision. I know she is going to ask. I didn't want to be the one to tell her, but I prepare myself anyway.

"Jax…what about the baby?" she asks searching my eyes.

"Tara, honey, I'm sorry it's gone." I say and watch her eyes glaze over.

She is motionless for a few moments before I hear the small whimpers which soon turn into deep hysterical cries. All I can do is pull her towards me and hold her. As I hold her I keep whisperings in her ear how sorry I am and that it is going to be ok.

I hold her through the night when she finally cries herself to sleep. I don't know which was worse her still unconscious body or the completely broken Tara that is in front of me now. Either way they were both my fault.


	4. Playing Doctor

**Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is so short wanted it to be cute and fun nothing to serious, but the next two will be much longer and will be put up within the next two days...Enjoy!**

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Tara was in shock, how could she not be after everything that happened. The doctor was running more tests, making sure there was no brain damage or internal bleeding. Tara kept complaining, all she wanted to do was go home and sleep in her own bed, at least, that is what she kept saying. When she realized that she was going to be out of commission for a few days she began to worry about her patients and the hospital. That was one of the things I found amazing about her, she put everyone before herself. The doctor taking care of her kept reassuring her that even if she was out of here she wasn't going back to work for at least a week.

I hadn't been back to the clubhouse to tell anyone that she was awake, but gossip spreads in this town faster than a herpes outbreak…I knew Gemma would be here soon.

I was trying to keep conversation light and upbeat. We were watching stupid daytime television, laughing at the horrible acting when the prospect nearly fell through the door carrying a huge gift basket followed by Gemma and Opie. I still hadn't told Tara everything and was hoping that neither of them would spill the beans.

"What is this?" I ask turning off the tv.

"Oh you know just a little get well gift from everyone," Gemma says before kissing me hello and then doing the same to Tara. "How you feelin hon?"

"Like I got the shit kicked out of me, but they say I'll live. What's in the basket?" she asked picking through it.

"Just some things you might want around you, pjs, toothbrush, magazines, chocolate and a few things that the guys threw in."

Tara nodded while Gemma rattled off her list of items. Tara laughed as she pulled out a thermometer. Opie gets the joke, mom has no idea about it. No one ever told her cause she would probably have a shit fit.

"yeah I have no idea Clay and Tig put that in and said enjoy playing doctor," she said shaking her head.

Tara and I look at each other and both our minds flash back to one night in high school.

* * *

Tara was taking an anatomy class, she said that it would help her get ready to take the classes to be a doctor. She always wanted to be a doctor ever since her mom died. She had a test coming up and she needed to study. We were at the garage because mom wouldn't let us be in the house alone anymore, she said it was because she didn't want to be a grandma until I had at least graduated from high school. I had convinced her to play a game while she studied. I would quiz her and for every right answer I would take off a piece of clothing, for every wrong answer she would take off a piece of clothing. Seemed like a win-win situation to me. An hour into the game I was almost completely out of clothes and she had only gotten two wrong taking off her socks. I needed to make it a more even playing field, so we started taking shots. After a few shots Tara started to get some of the answers wrong, finally. It probably also didn't help her that the more clothes she lost the closer I would sit to her trying to distract her with my hands, lips, tongue. I had to do anything I could to distract her. I had her exactly where I wanted her, in her bra and panties sitting on the redwood table in our chapel, I wasn't wearing quite as much as she was. We were pretty into the moment in front of us so much so that we didn't hear the rumble of bikes coming up the driveway or the chatter of conversation as they made their way into the garage. Half the group went to get drinks, while Clay, Tig and Piney were making the way into the chapel to discuss business. They got a little more than they bargained for when they opened the door. Clay was the first one to say anything. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I was absolutely speechless. I knew I shouldn't have been doing this in here, but it wasn't like I was the first. I was just probably the first one to get caught by their stepfather. "Playing doctor" came from a small voice underneath me. Clay shook his head before shutting the door and yelling "hurry up". I knew that I was going to get hell for it so I might as well make it worth it and finish. Tara was not embarrassed at all until the next day when she realized what had actually happened. By then I had already talked to the guys about not giving her shit for it, it was all my idea and she was pretty drunk and she was threatening never to come to the club again if anyone said anything. So I got put on bitch duty for a week following everyone around and doing any errand they needed me to do and no one ever said anything to Tara, but I knew they hadn't forgotten, and apparently today was the day they wanted to remind us of that night. It was nice to see Tara smiling and laughing, it was as if none of this had happened.


	5. The Word of the Day is Fine

(Tara POV)

After three days of being in the hospital I was finally going home. Jax has been with me almost 24/7 since I woke up. Last night I had reached my limit and told him in my kindest voice that he was annoying the shit out of me and had to go back to work before I got so sick of him we would never have sex again, that cleared him out of the room in a hurry. Gemma was the one to pick me up when I could finally go home, in the car on the way home she kept rambling on about the business up at CaraCara and how she could never find people the fix the cars anymore. I just nodded along while I looked out the window and remembered the first time I went down this now very familiar road almost eight years ago.

* * *

I was surprised when Jax had picked me up from class at the community college and told me that he needed to show me something. He had been spending more and more time at the garage but I put the helmet on and slide behind him. We rode along in silence. I wasn't really paying much attention to where we were and was surprised when he pulled into the driveway of a light blue house I had never seen before.

He got off his bike and made his way up the front steps. I followed him into the house without saying a word. He went all through the house turning on lights. My eyes followed him closely as he moved from room to room.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Think about what?"

"The house babe, what do you think about this house?" he asked like it was the obvious question I was missing.

"Its, fine…why are we here?" I ask looking around.

"Cause I bought it." He responded. My head snapped back around from where I was looking to focus on him. I feel my body go from confused to pissed off in those four words.

"You did what!?"

"I bought it…this is my house."

I am speechless. What is he thinking, why would he do this and not tell me until after he did it. This is the problem in our relationship. Well just one of the problems. We have already been fighting like crazy and then he goes and does this stupid shit. If he didn't want me hanging around so much he could have just told me not to stay over so much that he wanted space or something. I feel like there should be steam coming out of my eyes I am so upset.

"Jax…what are you doing. There is no reason why you needed to buy a house. Your parents are never home, your mom cooks and cleans for you like you are five years old, you have more than enough freedom. Is this some SAMCRO thing I don't get? Do you not want me sleeping over anymore so you are moving farther away so that you don't hurt my feelings? You know what I want you to take me home right now!"

"This has nothing to do with SAMCRO I needed more room," he tried to explain.

"That's bullshit, I want to go home right now." I say with more determination.

"Tara" he said calmly.

"No you know what I could use the air I'm gonna walk." I say turning on my heels about to leave the house when his strong hands pull my shoulders to face him again. He waits to say something until I look him in the eyes.

"For such a smart girl you are really dumb sometimes. I didn't think you would want to move into my parents' house."

I was so mad he was making no sense. He saw the confusion in my eyes.

"I want you to move in with me you stupid stupid woman."

I feel my anger fade with those words and I feel like a stupid woman. I take another look around the living room.

"Are you sure you still want to live with a crazy stupid woman?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah for some reason yeah, and I only said you were stupid, not crazy." He smirked.

"When did you do this? How did you buy a house?" I ask amazed that he actually thought something out and had a plan.

"This has been in motion for a while, just got finalized today." He leans down to kiss me, but before he reaches me I turn my head playfully.

"How did you know I was going to say yes, what if I had said no?" I asked slyly.

"I knew I could convince you."

"You're pretty sure of yourself Teller."

"I know what I'm good at." He smiled the half smile that I loved and I nearly knocked him down by crashing my lips onto his. I didn't care that we had been fighting non stop, mostly about the club. He didn't do this for the club, he did this for me. I didn't care what the rest of the house looked like I wanted him to take me right there in the living room. Every time I walked past this room I would always think of the first time we made love in our home.

* * *

When I walked through the front door I saw that spot before continuing on to the kitchen. I knew that the place was probably a mess and was shocked to find the house cleaner than it was before the incident.

"I came by earlier and stocked the fridge, throwing away everything that went bad and cleaned up a little." Gemma said walking past me and walking into the kitchen.

"Thanks you didn't have to do that" I say following her.

"Yeah I know, so how ya doin?" she asked sitting at the kitchen table

"Fine" I say taking a water out of the fridge and sitting at the table across from her.

"This is me you are talking to. Jax believes you because he doesn't want to admit what really happened, but you can't fool me by putting on a bullshit smile. So I'll ask again, how are you really doing?" she said leaning forward.

"I should have seen it coming, but I was thinking about what color I was going to paint his bedroom. I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore. I didn't know what it was going to be, but I had a feeling it was a boy." I say playing with the top of my water bottle.

"Its ok to be sad. You lost a child, it is going to effect you."

"Gemma you lost a child, mine wasn't a child yet. Didn't get that chance." I say with jealousy in my voice. I could tell she didn't know what to say. "Maybe this is for the best, Jax is no way ready to be a father. I'm fine…really. I just want to get back to my life."

"ok, I'll drop it for now, but if you want to talk you know where to find me" she said eyeing me up and down.

"Thanks, but really I don't need a babysitter, go home Gemma. I will be fine."

"You have said that word so many times it has lost it's meaning, but I get it I'm outta here. Take care of yourself sweetheart." She says kissing me on the head before heading out the door.

I love Jax and his family but they could really over stay their welcome sometimes.


	6. Positive

**(Jax POV)**

I was working on a car in the garage when I saw Gemma's firebird pull up the driveway. All I can think is when the hell is she doing here, she was suppose to stay with Tara until I got home, that woman can't ever do what she is asked to do. She sees the anger in face as she walks through the garage on her way to the office.

"Don't give me that look, she all but pushed me out the door. She wants to take care of herself. You should be happy you have a strong girl there." She said as if it was a matter of fact.

"Yeah right mom thanks." I say sarcastically.

"That girl is going through enough she doesn't need people hovering over her like she is a child." She said walking towards me.

"She needs support" I respond.

"Yes, but her boyfriend not by his mother. She feels that this is her fault and you aren't helping by not telling her what really happened. You need to get your shit together and figure out what you are going to tell her before its too late." She says raising her voice.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, so back off!"

"That's where your wrong" she says moving forward pointing her finger at my chest. "I know how the loss of a child eats you up inside, makes you feel like a failure, and what that feeling makes you want to do and it doesn't help that the person that helped make that child never supported the decision to keep it! So go home and talk to her now!"

She storms off before I can say anything. I can't believe Tara told her everything. My anger takes over and I throw the wrench I was using through the window of the office. Gemma doesn't even look back she just keeps on walking. I knew she was right and that I had to get this over with. I hopped on my bike and raced home as fast as I could.

* * *

**(Tara POV)**

I heard his bike coming down the road. To an untrained ear it would sound like any other bike, but I knew better. I could pick his bike out from a pack of twenty. I was picking up and sorting laundry when he came through the front door. He was walking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. The way he walked reminded me of when I had the weight of the world on my shoulders just a few short weeks ago, I let my mind drift back to that day.

**(Flashback)**

We had been living together for years. Things have been going fine, we had our bumps but we always got past them. Most of our bumps were SAMCRO related, but nothing was going to change there. I was now a resident at the hospital which gave me more of a normal schedule. The other doctors and nurses always found it funny when my biker boyfriend and his friends would show up at the hospital, they always stood out. A number of our fights were about me patching up someone in the clubhouse, I really wish they would be more careful. Everyone thought it was crazy that after ten years we still hadn't gotten married. The paper never meant anything to me until now. I'm a doctor, a good doctor. I didn't need to take a test to know that it was true. I was sick everyday, my breasts were sore, and biggest of all I was late by three weeks. I was so stressed I didn't realize it until this morning. I was in denial until the plus sign appeared. I took two more tests even though I knew they were going to say the same thing. We never talked about kids. Again crazy after ten years we never had that conversation. That was probably because in those ten years I had never had one scare.

I was sitting on the edge of the bath tub when she walked through the door. I didn't even hear her pull up. I look up at her, preparing myself for the fight ahead, but instead of anger all I see is compassion for this new situation. I can barely speak but somehow I form the words, "What am I going to do?" The words fall out of my mouth before I can catch them and she comes to sit next to me.

"You are going to tell Jax that you are having a baby" I turn to look at her.

"We're not ready for this" she laughs at my response to her answer.

"You both have jobs and have been together for half your life. If you're not ready now then you will never be ready."

"This is unbelievable, we are always so careful." I say not knowing how I'm going to explain this to Jax.

"These things happen. You need to talk to Jax. He should be on his way home now he said he was going to leave the garage right after me. You need to clean yourself up my dear" she said standing up.

"Why are you being so nice about this?" I ask her confused about her reaction.

"The minute you got that plus sign you became family for life, and we take care of family." She responded taking a few steps to the door.

"What" she turns to face me "What if he doesn't want it?" I ask.

"You are a strong girl, you'll know what to do." That wasn't the answer I wanted, but I would take it. She walked towards me, held my face in her hands, and kissed me.

"Oh and congratulations mom"

"Thanks grandma" I responded as she headed for the door.

* * *

In the time before Jax got home I cleaned the bathroom, did a load of laundry, heated up some dinner and was about to finish some paperwork that needed to get done for the hospital when the door opened.

"Hey baby" he called out "you wouldn't believe what half sack did this afternoon" he walks into the kitchen to find me sitting at the table. He gives me a kiss before sitting in the chair across from me. "How was work today?" he questioned picking at the dinner plate in front of him.

"I ummm actually didn't go in today, I wasn't feeling well." I answer slowly.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Actually I haven't been feeling well for a couple days so I took a test" I answer trying to gage his responses.

"What kinda test?" he asked putting down his fork.

"A pregnancy test." I say trying to come across like it is no big deal.

"And?"

Instead of answering I pulled out the test and put it on the table. He knew what the plus sign meant.

"Well, these tests aren't 100% right, maybe its wrong." He said.

I pulled out the other two tests that have the same result.

"Jesus Christ" he sighed.

"Try not to sound too excited" I say getting up and walking around the table.

"What do you want me to say Tara?" he asked somewhat annoyed.

I didn't respond.

"What are you going to do?" he asked quietly.

That set me off. "I can't believe you would ask me that. It's not like we're in high school and you knocked me up. We have been living together for forever, didn't you ever think this might happen?" I ask while I pace back and forth in front of him.

"No, I never really thought about it. I like the way things are just you and me." He tried to explain.

"You are unbelievable. I am having this baby and if you can't get on board with that then you can leave right now." I don't let him answer, I storm off to the bedroom and slam the door before laying down on my side of the bed facing the wall.

A few minutes later I hear the door open and the bed dip on his side. His arms wrap around me and his hands lay on my stomach.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said all of that. You're right. We are family and you are going to be a great mom."

"I mean it Jax, if you don't want this then you should leave, I'll understand." I say trying not to let my voice crack.

"I want you and I want us and this baby is the best part of us. I just got a little spooked. It won't happen again. Really I am on board for everything." I turn around in his arms to face him.

"I'm scared" I admit to him this time not hiding the fear in my voice as it cracks.

"Me too" and I know that he is telling the truth. We stayed in that position the whole night.

* * *

He pulled me out of my daydream when the door closed and called out for me. I didn't want to think about that day anymore and wanted to switch the thoughts in my mind as quickly as possible.

"Hey babe, did you move the laundry detergent?" I greeted him with a smile.

"No I don't think so, you don't have to do that, you should be resting." He said following me into the kitchen.

"It's fine I don't mind, besides it gave me something to do"

"Well here sit down I need to talk to you" he said pulling out a kitchen chair for me.

"Ok" I said slowly "sounds serious, is everything alright?" I ask.

"It is now," he paused looking me in the eyes, "You know how much I love you right, you know I would do anything for you?" he asked.

"Yes of course Jax what are you getting at, your scaring me." I say putting my hands over his.

"This is my fault" he says with somber in his voice.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused

"What happened to you, it's my fault. They went after you because of me, because of your connection to SAMCRO." I see the pain and guilt in his eyes and I feel the sudden urge to comfort him.

"Jax" his name comes out as a sigh.

"It's ok" I try to say but he cuts me off. "No it's not! SAMCRO was suppose to be my family and take care of me and my real family and instead all it did was put you in danger and got you hurt. This is not ok Tara" he said on the brink of tears.

"Why were they after SAMCRO, why did they want to hurt you?" I ask not sure if I really want the answer.

He cleared his throat before answering. "It was the NORDS, a few weeks ago we burned down the meth house they had in Charming and they wanted retaliation, I have no idea why they went after you as hard as they did, but either way everything is taken care of, you don't have to worry"

"Jax I was never worried. Look I came into this whole thing," I say pointing to us, "knowing that it could come on to me. I know it's rare, but happens, but you are worth it, our life together is worth it" I say with all the sincerity in my voice.

"How can you say that after everything that has happened, we lost a child" he says still unsure if I am telling the truth.

"But I am ok and you are ok and maybe one day we can try again. Try and do it on purpose." I said smiling. "SAMCRO is your family and so am I, neither of those are changing anytime soon, so stop trying to push me away and stop feeling guilty. I need you to stay focused especially when your doing "business"" I say using air quotes "because I need you home safe and sound every night I don't know what I would do if something happened to you" I say learning my forehead against his.

We stayed that way for a while until I got up to cook dinner. That night Jax helped me cook dinner. We kissed, laughed and talked for hours about everything and nothing all at the same time. It seemed like a peek into what most couples our age were doing at this very moment, but I liked our life the way it was, MC life and all. The next night life fell back into routine where I ate dinner alone while Jax was at the clubhouse, but I kept a plate in the oven for him and a note on the table saying that I loved him. Within a week of my release from the hospital life was back to normal and I was happy to have my life back.


	7. Green Eyed Monster

**Authors Note: I am sorry that it has taken me sooooooo long to update but I had a huge case of writers' block. I know where the story is going just don't always know how to get there. Plus I got a new job which has taken up a lot of my time, but with winter break I hope to get a lot of writing done. Please review and let me know what you think.**

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**Chapter 7**

**(TARA POV)**

It has been a month since "the incident" and things were back to normal. This last week had been hard on Jax, he tried not to bring it home but sometimes he couldn't help it. He was having problems with Clay and the club. I couldn't exactly pinpoint when it started but it was between Donna's death and my incident. It also didn't help that he was always being pulled to Cara Cara with some emergency. He didn't get home til 4am last night and they called him at 5:30 to drive someone home. I was up because my shift started at 7:00 and I didn't to get some work done before heading out. I was about to leave the house when I saw that Jax had forgotten his cell phone. I was going to stop for coffee before work but I guess I could swing by the garage, drop off his phone and pick up a cup there.

I always thought it was funny that the garage opened so early for morning drop offs, but at least I knew where I could find him.

When I walked into the office I find a young twenty something sitting behind the desk with her feet propped up on the desk wearing a crop top with one of the shortest skirts I have ever seen in my life.

"you lost honey? You drop your keys in the garage" she said tilting her head and smacking her lips as she chewed her gum.

"Thanks, but I know where I'm going." I say walking towards the coffee and pouring myself a cup. "You are one of Luanne's girls?" I ask politely trying to make small talk.

"I am not just one of the girls, I am the girl. The only one who is brining in the business" she said full of attitude. I rolled my eyes at her response and proceeded to sup my coffee in silence. After a few moments of silence she puts her feet on the floor and perks up "Here we go" she says pulling down her shirt to reveal more of her cleavage as the door to the garage opens.

"Sack is going…, Tara hey don't you have work?" he said walking through the door and kissing me on the cheek letting his hand rest on my hip.

"Yeah" I say slowly still looking at the girls as she stares at our interaction trying to figure us out. "I do, but you forgot your phone when you left this morning." I say pulling the phone from my back pocket.

"Ah thanks that saves me a trip. I see you've met Imma" he said nodding to the other woman.

"not officially" I say following his eyes.

"Imma this is my girl Tara, Imma lost her keys and was waiting here til a locksmith could get to her place."

"Yeah thank god Jax was there when I called this morning otherwise I don't know what I would have done" she said walking around the desk and putting her hand on his shoulder. This action did not go unnoticed.

"Well then I guess it was a good thing you were there" I say looking Jax in the eyes. I put my mug. "I have to get to the hospital" I say pushing past him and heading for my car.

I feel him two steps behind me once we are outside. "I was on call last night, I had to go" he said trying to explain.

"There is no reason to explain anything to me. I get it and now I have to get to work" I say continuing to walk to my car.

"Then why are you mad?" he asked as we reached my car.

"I'm not mad, I'm annoyed with girls like her that think if they bat their eyes and flash some skin you will forget the last thirteen years or something." I say turning around to face him. I look up to find him smirking at me with a spark in his eye. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask getting more annoyed.

"You're jealous"

"what!?" I snap.

"You're jealous" he repeats

I say nothing.

"You have nothing to worry about" he says trying to comfort me.

"This is not about me trusting you, this has to do with stupid sluts not getting it through their thick skulls. I am tried of always dealing with this shit" I say turning around and getting in the car slamming the door shut. "And you are one to talk about being jealous" I say stepping on the gas and speeding out of the driveway.

* * *

**(JAX POV)**

I am left there standing in the driveway completely confused on what just happened. I thought I was winning this thing. I hadn't done anything wrong.

Chibbs walks up to me. "What did you do?" he questioned watching as Tara sped off.

"I have no idea" I said shaking my head.

"Well Ms. Thing said to tell you she is still waiting in the office for you. Apparently someone is on their way to her place to unlock her door." He informed me. I roll my eyes and sigh before heading back to the office.

We never had any reason to be jealous, she knew there was nothing to worry about with me and she made it very clear from day one that I never had any reason to be possessive as she put it, of course that didn't stop me on some occasions.

**(Flashback)**

It was her first year as an intern and she had a study group every week. It was the week of Halloween and she was busy studying for midterms. Tonight was her night to host the study session and she was busy cleaning the house before they came over.

"I don't get why you are cleaning the place, it looks fine" I say from my seat on the couch.

"Yeah maybe for you and your friends, but most of these people have no idea who SAMCRO is and I don't really want them thinking that my place is the club hot spot." She said hurrying around the room picking up beer bottles and biker magazines.

"You spend too much time with these people, you don't need to try and impress them" I say paging through one of the magazines she just put in a neat pile on the coffee table.

"I'm not trying to impress anyone. Would you stop messing up what I've already cleaning?" she said pulling the magazine out of my hands "and it is because of all these study groups that I get to spend as much time here as I do. Most people never see their spouse during their first year." She is cut off by the beeping noise of the computer indicating that she got an instant message. I look over at the screen for her while she goes into the kitchen to clean in there.

"Who is Greg and why is he asking if you want beer or wine?" I ask reading the message out loud.

"He is in the study group and just like it is my turn as host it is his turn to bring the drinks." She informs me.

"Yeah right" I say under my breath thinking she won't hear me.

"Is that jealousy I hear?" she says poking her head out of the kitchen.

"Don't make me laugh, like you could ever go from me to some nerdy doctor, yeah right." I say with a chuckle.

"Hey I am one of those nerdy doctors" she said coming in the room and sitting on my lap.

"You are a hot sexy doctor" I say learning in for a kiss.

She pulls away before I can reach her lips. "They are going to be here any minute and you have plans to get to with Opie" she says standing up.

"You trying to get me out of here for some reason" I say standing up and she playfully pushes me toward the door.

I open the door to find a tall skinny brown haired guy carrying two bottles of wine about to knock on the door.

"Oh I'm sorry I must have the wrong house" he says looking at the numbers on the side of the house.

Tara races over to the door. "No Greg you're in the right place" she says opening the door more to let Greg into my house. "Greg this is my boyfriend Jax, Jax this is one of the people in my study group Greg" Tara makes the introductions. I shake his hand friendly as he eyes me up and down.

"Guess Halloween came early this year, right man." He said smiling. I don't say anything in return I just give Tara a "are you kidding me" look.

"You better get going Opie is going to be waiting for you" Tara said pushing me toward the door. I watched as Greg walked through my house looking at all the biker memorabilia there is hanging on the walls.

"He touches you I am going to kill him" I say turning to face Tara as she rolls her eyes.

"I'm serious"

"Possessive much?"

"I am just warning you to warn him"

"Have fun with Opie and please be safe tonight, nothing too crazy." She says learning into me.

"We will be at the clubhouse, call me if you need me" I say learning forward to give her a deep kiss before turning around putting on my helmet and getting on my bike.

I remembered how even though I knew I had nothing to worry about I didn't like the feeling I got when I saw the way that guy looked at Tara. I also remember how in high school Tara got in a good number of cat fights over me. Now at 29 years old I can understand why she would get tired at fighting with these new girls who didn't know the rules of the club. Even when I didn't do anything wrong she was still right and it was still my fault.

Instead of walking back into the office to deal with Imma I headed straight for my bike and without a word drove off in the direction of the hospital.

I found Tara in the doctor's lounge filling out some charts. When she heard me walk through the door she looked up briefly before going back to whatever she was writing. She was still pissed. I sat down in the chair next to her.

"I'm sorry"

"Why should you be sorry, you didn't do anything" she said without looking up.

"Yeah I didn't do anything to give her any idea she had a shot, but I also didn't really do anything to stop it". This caught her off guard cause she stopped what she was writing and looked up at me.

"I'm sorry too, I overreacted. I know that this is just business and that I don't have anything to worry about, I'm just sick of them always being around. It's like we can't catch a break to just have a normal relationship."

"What is normal?" I say shrugging my shoulders.

"Having your boyfriend be the money and muscle behind a porn business is not normal."

"It's only temporary, until things settle down."

"Yeah I know" she said turning back to her charts.

"Are we ok" I ask in a serious tone.

"Yeah" she said with a sigh. "We're fine. I have to finish up these charts before rounds, I'll see you at home?" she said picking up her pen.

"Tonight is Church, you want to meet me at the club when it's over."

"Sure" she said nodding slowly.

I got up and gave her a quick kiss before leaving. The conversation didn't go the way I thought it would and even though she said so I knew we weren't fine.


	8. She Knew About Us

**A/N: This is a short chapter, just a filler to get to some major things and for that reason it doesn't have a flashback. I will post more this week. Enjoy**

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**Chapter 8**

**(Tara POV)  
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I was checking on my last patient of the day when I saw her standing outside the room. I excused myself before walking to the hallway to meet her. Jax had mentioned that the club had an ATF bitch agent on their tails for a while and I could tell this was her just by the cheap suit she wore.

"Can I help you?" I asked trying to sound as polite as possible.

"Dr. Knowles?" I nod in response. "I am agent June Stahl with the ATF and I have a couple of questions to ask you if you have time now.

"Sure" I say leading her to a set of chairs in the hallway. "Can I ask what this is about"? even though I already know.

"An ongoing investigation. Now I've done my research about you. You grew up right here in Charming, gave up a full ride to San Diego and opted for Community College so you could live with your mechanic boyfriend. Ten years later and you are one of the best doctors at this hospital, according to your colleagues, and he is still just a mechanic, am I right?"

"What are you getting at? I ask already annoyed with her voice.

"I can give you a way out. A second chance only this time you take it. I know that you are Jax Teller's old lady and I am sure that he tells you enough that you could be in danger too. Or at least told you what happened to a crack house on the outskirts of town. Amazingly enough after it burned down a couple of bodies were found right outside of town, John Does right now."

"That sounds like a real tragedy, but I don't have information, sorry"

"I heard you just had a tragedy of your own. Jax couldn't protect you from getting jumped resulting in a miscarriage, sad really I am sure it would have been a beautiful baby. Well if you want better protection next time why don't you give me a call" she said handing me her card before standing up and walking away.

I sat there in the hospital chair just staring in disbelieve. She really had some nerve on her. I finished my work as fast as a could and drove to the club house. Looking at the clock on the dashboard I realized that they would still be in there for a while. I went to sit in the office with Gemma while I waited.

I knocked softly on the door before entering the office. She took her glasses off as I sat down in the chair across from the desk.

"You look like shit" she said matter of factly.

"Thanks, I feel like shit."

"Jax said you guys had a fight"

"Yeah I guess it was a fight. I'm just sick of porn sluts and croweaters always hanging around and then at work I got grilled by that ATF bitch that has been bugging the club." I said with a deep sigh.

"You tell Jax"? she sounded concerned.

"No he was already in there by the time she showed up at the hospital, I figured I would tell him when he got out" she nodded slowly.

"There will always be girls, can't change that, but your lucky, you found a rare one with Jackson. He isn't even an on the run kinda guy."

"Yeah I know. I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping well I guess since everything happened."

"You and Jax need some time to be you and Jax again, you will get back there and then you will relax enough to sleep."

"I hope so cause right now I feel like a zombie going through the motions." A knock on the door pulls my attention away from Gemma. I turn to find Jax leaning against the door frame.

"You boys done" she asked. Jax nodded his head.

"Well that is my cue to leave" she said standing up. "night sweetheart" she said kissing my head before turning to Jax "Night honey" kissing him on his cheek.

"Night Ma" he said before walking over and leaning on the desk in front of me. "You ready to go home babe?" he said putting out his hands for me to grab them.

"Yes, but we need to talk first" I said reaching for one of his hands.

"That doesn't sound good" he says pulling his baseball cap so it is forward on his head meaning he knew we were going to be there for a while.

"I got a visit from the ATF agent that has been digging into the club. She mentioned the crack house being burned down and some John Doe's found outside right outside of town. She offered me a way out if I talked" I explained looking for some emotion in his face.

"She came to the hospital?" I nodded. "What did you tell her?"

"I said that I didn't know anything and that I was staying where I am."

"She must really be reaching if she is coming to you. I will talk to the guys about it tomorrow, but you don't need to worry about her."

"She knew everything about us Jax"

"She is just blowing smoke. She has nothing."

"She mentioned me being jumped and she knew about the baby" I said dropping my head.

"It is in your medical records which she does have access to. You don't need to worry about anything like that happening again." He said pulling me up so he could embrace me.

"I know I just didn't like how she talked about it." I began to play with the hairs at his neck to keep my hands busy. "How did things go in Church" I knew he wouldn't give any specifics but him and Clay were still having problems.

"It was exhausting." He said taking in a deep breath

"I wish I knew what was going on with you and Clay maybe then I would be able to say something to help you"

"Trust me you don't want to know about this one and there is nothing you could say to make this any better". This wasn't like Jax, he sounded so defeated. I pulled back to look him in the eyes.

"Let's go home put some music on and forget this whole day happened."

He nods slowly "That sounds good". He said putting his arm over my shoulder and walking me out to the car. His bike roared from behind me the whole way home. I was going to take what Gemma said to heart and put me and Jax first tonight. I was even beginning to get excited about a quiet night at home with Jax.

That was until I was about to pull into the house and saw it in the driveway.


	9. Pictures of the Past

**Author's Note: sorry it has taken so long to put this up. I had a really bad case of writer's block. I am hoping that now that I have this chapter up and know where it is going it should come together soon....please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and on a side note sorry for any spelling mistakes. **

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(Tara POV)

I pulled up to the house and saw the police car in the driveway. I didn't want to get out of the car. There was graffiti all over the outside of the house and I could tell all the windows were broken. I sat in the driver's seat with my mind racing. Whoever did this came to the house to get to Jax. They went to my home. This was the one place that was mine, that I felt safe always and someone had come and destroyed it. I heard Jax's bike pulling in the driveway. I watched as he hopped of his bike and met Chief Unser in the driveway. I slowly got out of the car and followed them in to the living room. I didn't hear anything they were saying as my eyes scanned the room. The couch was torn up, everything was pulled off the walls, and anything that could be broken was broken.

"I'm gonna call Clay you need to stay with Gemma for now" he said taking out his phone.

"Jax" I said softly. He ignored me.

"Yeah we have a problem, you need to get everyone and get to my house now" he said into the receiver.

"Jax" I said louder.

"Go get a bag ready" he said still ignoring me.

"Jax" I said yelling, finally getting his attention "who did this?"

"I don't know, but I'm gonna find out"

"Do you think it was the same people that jumped me?" I asked in a panicked voice.

"That's impossible" he said calmly.

"You don't know that. Maybe you got the wrong people and the real ones are still out there." I said getting louder. The sound of motorcycles tearing down the road interrupted. The room was suddenly full of SAMCRO. I watched them from my spot at the kitchen table. I was leaning back in my chair unable to really focus on anyone.

"I said to make sure we had the right guys so this would be over" Jax said in the direction of Clay.

"You wanted things to be done fast, things slip when we don't have enough intell" Clay said pointing a finger in Jax's face. I could tell this was not going well.

"Well Prez what are we going to do now? How are you going to protect my family!?"

I didn't need to listen to anymore. They were going to make my decisions for me anyway so I might as well pack a bag like I knew I was going to do anyway.

I quietly stood up and walked into the bedroom. I was shocked to find the room torn apart. Clothes everywhere, glass broken. It was a complete mess. I began picking up the stuff on the floor.

I began to pick up the pictures. There were ones of Jax and his family, SAMCRO, numerous ones of Jax and me through the years and my favorite picture of Jax, Opie, and me the day they got patched in. That was a great night, I think smiling to myself. That was the night Opie met Donna. It was the patching party. Jax was already trashed hanging all over me. Opie and I were talking about what he was going to do after graduation when his eyes drifted over my head to the door. I turned to find two girls walk in. One of them I had never seen before, but the other was a regular at SAMCRO parties.

"you know her?" I ask turning back around to face him.

"no" he said shaking his head with his eyes still fixed on her.

"so why don't you go talk to her?"

"because he is a pussy when it comes to pretty girls" Jax piped in a drunken slur.

"shut the fuck up" Opie said taking a long sip of his beer.

"Opie you have girls hanging on you all the time, just go talk to her"

"All those girls need to see is the cut and they open their legs, but when it comes to girls who aren't impressed with SAMCRO I don't know what to say to them"

"Well thank you for that visual that I didn't need, but just because she isn't a crow eater doesn't mean anything. I mean look at me."

"Yeah it takes a little more than the cut to get her to open her legs" Jax once again piped in.

I smacked him on his chest, glaring at him telling him to shut up.

I turned my attention back to Opie.

"This party is for you, so you are going to go up to that girl and talk to her or I am going to keep my legs closed indefinitely"

"and that affects me how?" Opie asked.

I smirked at him. "because Jax gets frustrated very quickly and I'll make sure he knows whose fault that is" I said leaning back in the booth.

"you know you can be a real bitch sometimes" he said with a smile.

"yes now go say hello" I all but pushed him up towards her.

Turned out that Donna was brought to the party by one of her cousins. When Opie and Donna started dating I finally had someone to talk with who understood the SAMCRO lifestyle. Donna was without a doubt one of my best friends. I missed her. I smile thinking back to that night as I sat on the floor against the bed.

"You don't need to clean this up, that's what prospects are for" Opie said walking through the bedroom door.

I looked up from the picture to smile at him.

"I was going to pack a bag, it sounded like Clay and Jax were making the decision."

"Yeah they are still deciding things" I rolled my eyes. "What are you looking at" he asked walking over and sitting down next to me. I handed him the picture.

"It was a good night, you remember it?" I ask.

"oh yeah, of course" he said smiling.

"It seems like such a long time ago. Everything was so much simpler when we were kids" I say leaning my head on his shoulder.

"That's for damn sure, now I have kids causing me as much trouble as I caused my parents" he said softly.

"Op you know that Jax and I are always here for you and the kids. I am not a great cook but I can follow a recipe if you want to come over for dinner sometime. I could use the company. It would be good for me to do things with people again."

"Tara I'm sorry that you had to go through all of this. First loosing your best friend then loosing the baby."

"Yeah you know lets not talk about this anymore" I say picking up a different picture of the two of us. Where I was on the back of Opie's bike making a funny face.

"You know if you ever get sick of this punk you can always hop on the back of my bike and we'll ride off into the sunset" he said wrapping an arm around me while I couldn't help but laugh.

"Five minutes and you are already hitting on my girl" Jax says strutting in the room.

"Its not my fault she is ready for an upgrade" Opie said standing up before putting his hands out to pull me up.

"so where am I going?" I ask Jax.

"**we** are going to stay at the clubhouse" Jax informed me. I couldn't hide the disgusted look on my face.

"You will be protected the most there and you won't be alone. We will stay in my old room in the apartments. This is only temporary" he said continuing.

"oh joy" I say rolling my eyes.

"We all want to make sure your protected and this is the best way to do that." Jax said.

"Jax is right" Opie added.

"ok fine you guys go do something I need to pack our stuff."

They both retreated down the hall. I heard Opie make a comment about how lucky he is that he has a girl who will pack his stuff for him. I begin throwing clothes in a bag when my eyes fall on a recent picture of Jax and me. I throw the picture on the dress. I don't even recognize those people anymore. After the last of the clothes were thrown in the bag I zip it up and walk down the hall with my head down, not ready to face the awaiting men.


	10. One Step Forward Two Steps Back

**Chapter 10**

When we got to the clubhouse I headed straight up to Jax's old room while he and the rest of the guys went straight to the chapel. The room hadn't changed much in the years we were away. Not that Jax was really here long enough to decorate with anything more than a few pictures. I threw my bag on the bed and looked around the room. Everything really was the same. All of a sudden a wave of tiredness rushed over me. I didn't want to unpack, all I wanted to do was crawl under the covers and sleep until all of this went away. I unzipped the bag and pulled out the first thing my hands touched. One of Jax's shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. I changed quickly and was almost asleep when Jax came through the door. I heard him pull off his clothes and drop them on the floor before laying down on his side of the bed. My body automatically turned so that my head was laying on his chest. I always loved that we fit perfectly together and he wasn't the kind of guy who in the middle of the night would wiggle away. I always woke up in the same position I fell asleep in. it somehow comforted me. I breathed in his smell of cigarettes and gasoline finally finding the right words. "You guys planning something?" I asked softly.

"Nah not yet, we need to find out who it was and then they will be delt with" he said.

"I can't believe they came to our house" I said still in disbelief. I paused a second before continuing. "I need to go by the house and clean it up".

"Babe you don't need to do that I will get some of the guys to take care of it."

I shook my head "no really I want to do it. I don't want anyone else touching my stuff". I could feel his eyes boring into the top of my head but I wasn't ready to look at him yet. I could feel him relent as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm.

"Ok but take someone with you, I don't want you going there alone" he said sternly.

We layed there in silence for a few minutes. He hugged me tighter to him with one arm as his other ran down my leg. He let out a small laugh. "What in the hell are you wearing?" he asked curiously. He knew me too well. I always get hot at night and rarely wore bottoms to bed for that reason. I felt a smile creep up to my lips.

"A pair of your sweatpants" I say innocently.

"Why in the world are you doing that? You are going to get hot and try kicking them off and end up kicking me instead" he said a matter of factly. I look up to find his smug smile on his face and that tiredness that was there disappeared.

"Well you could help me take them off now" I say smiling. Nothing else needed to be said. It wasn't one of our wild and crazy nights or one of our rough nights. It was a tender night, the kind of night we needed to remind us of what we are together and bring us back to that.


	11. Respect

**Chapter 11**

The sun shining through the window woke me up way earlier then I wanted it to, but with the way it was beaming through the window I knew I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. I move Jax's arm so that I can crawl out of bed without waking him. I get dressed and make my way down the hall not expecting to find anyone awake this early. I was surprised to find Gemma sitting in the kitchen smoking a cigarette.

"Good morning sweetheart how did you sleep?" she asked putting out her cigarette.

"Ok, I guess the mattresses haven't been changed in the last 15 years. What are you doing here so early?" I ask pouring a cup of coffee.

"I figured you would be up early and I wanted to see how you were doing. I went by the house. They really did a number on it." She said shaking her head.

"Thanks, Im ok, I need to stop by there sometime today and assess the damage." I said taking a sip.

"Well Clay and the guys were working on who did it and Unser said he was stopping by this morning."

"I don't have work today so I will probably be there most of the day" I said putting my cup down and crossing my arms.

"I'll come by after I close up the garage." She said standing up.

"You don't have to do that" I say in protest.

"I know sweetheart" she smiles softly. We both turn when we hear the door to the clubhouse open and in walk Opie, Chibbs, and Halfsack.

"Good morning loves" Chibbs greets us. I nod and smile in response.

"Did you guys find out anything yet?" Gemma asked. I motioned if anyone wanted coffee. They all shook their heads no.

"Not yet, Unser is trying to find any witnesses." Halfsack answered.

"Something will come up soon" Gemma assured the boys but watching me while she spoke.

"So how was your first night back in the old room, anything like your very first night?" Opie asked chuckling obviously changing the subject. I knew exactly what he was talking about as did Gemma. I couldn't help but chuckle myself at the thought.

Jax had been patched for almost a month. I had been busy with midterms for the last two weeks and hadn't been spending too much time at the clubhouse or Jax's house. That was also because Jax hadn't been spending much time at home either. He had all but moved into the clubhouse apartments. I refused to spend the night there because it was gross, nasty and I wasn't some croweater. Mid terms were over and I had agreed to go to the clubhouse party with Donna that night.

Donna and I had become fast friends. We both accepted the club life but if we had our way we didn't really want anything to do with it. I didn't want to stay very long so I wasn't drinking very much, a few beers here and there. That was until I saw some blonde girl sitting on Jax's lap. He knew that I was there and still let the girl sit there like it was nothing. I had had enough of his bullshit. On any other occasion I would have gone over there and moved the bitch myself, but I didn't feel like dealing with it. If Jax's was going to disrespect me I could do the same thing to him.

I got a few more beers in me, enough to make me tipsy before walking up to Tig. He was sitting at the bar by himself.

"Hey Tigger, why do they call you that, its like Tiger only Tigger." I said leaning my whole body up against him. Even in my drunk state I knew he would fall for this. Tig always liked that I was jailbait to him and was untouchable and had some grudge with Jax because Tig thought that he wasn't good enough to be the future president of SAMCRO.

"Well sweetheart I could show you later." He said trying to smirk at me.

"That might be possible." I say laughing a cute adorable laugh.

Someone must have seen us and pointed it out to Jax because next thing I knew I was being thrown over his shoulder and moved twenty feet away before he would put me down.

"Who the hell do you think you are, you can not man handle me you son of a bitch" I scream at him not caring who is watching us fight.

"Who the hell do you think you are going after a brother right in front of me, what are you slutting it up all of a sudden. Open your legs for anything with a dick." He said trying to upset me, but it wasn't going to work this is all on him.

"O so you think I am disrespecting you or something. Hmmm would you rather I just sit up on his lap like you let every pussy do to you." I said yelling.

"I was being polite what was I suppose to do shove her off." He asked yelling.

"yes Jackson that is exactly what you are suppose to do you dumb prick." I yelled walking towards my purse to get my keys.

"Where do you think you are going?" he yelled following me.

"HOME" I said still searching for my keys.

"O no you are not driving" he said taking my keys out of my hand when I had found them.

"you can't stop me" I said reaching for them again.

"You wanna bet" he said picking me and throwing me over his shoulder and walking up the stairs to the apartments. The whole time I was screaming curses.

When we got upstairs he threw me on the bed. We spent our first night in his new room with me sleeping on the bed and him on the floor. I wouldn't let him lay next to me.

The next night we made up for our fight and had a much more enjoyable night, but that fight it still talked about with how loud we got over something so stupid. I almost came in the middle of a brotherhood. That was when I knew that Jax loved me cause he would have killed Tig for touching me and not thought twice about it.


	12. ATF

**Chapter 12**

Walking around the house all torn up was a weird experience. All I wanted to do was run away, but that wouldn't help anything. I met with the insurance people to discuss what was destroyed. When they were leaving Chief Unser showed up with someone I didn't recognize.

"Morning Doc" he said walking over to me. "Morning Chief" I responded politely

"Agent Joshua Kohn ATF" the man said reaching out to shake my hand. I shook it looking at Chief Unser unsure of why an ATF agent was at my home.

"ATF, what brings you to my home for a break in?" I asked trying to get some information for Jax.

"Seems our friend here thinks that this break in might have to do with a gun trafficking case, came all the way down from Chicago to look into it." Unser informed me knowing what I was trying to get.

"What would the break in have anything to do with guns?" I asked innocently.

"Well this is the home of Jackson Teller right, and we have some intell that the Sons of Anarchy might have something to do with the guns" Kohn said walking into the house. "Do you mind if I look around" he asked already on his way down the hall.

"Be my guest" I said knowing it didn't matter what I said.

"And what is your relationship to Mr. Teller." He asked from the bedroom.

"He is my boyfriend" I responded dryly. I hated when people were in my bedroom. I heard him scoff a response.

"So you're from Chicago, I've been there once a while back looking at a school" I said making small talk while Unser called Clay to let him know about ATF.

"You don't say, why didn't you end up going there? I hear they have a good medical program. Didn't have what you were looking for?" he questioned walking back in the main room.

"No it looked great, I just decided to stay closer to home." I said.

"Too bad, who knows maybe we would have met under different circumstances." He said walking out the door.

The way he said that really made my skin crawl. I followed outside to find him introducing himself to Clay and Jax who were talking to Unser.

I stayed back by the door knowing they weren't having a conversation about the house. I can't help but wonder when this shit will slow down. Ever since everything with Donna happened it just seems to spiral down and pretty soon I don't think I will be able to see the light.


	13. Author's Note

**Sorry it took so long to get some more chapters up, but the power went out last night and I finally got some writing up so thought I would put up some chapters while I still had the time. **

**Some of them are short. I am trying to move the story along. I am also thinking about starting a new SOA story, just trying to think of where it will end up so that I can update more frequently. **

**Hope you all enjoy I love reading comments. Hopefully I will get some more ideas when season 3 starts up soon :)**


	14. Black Eyes and Broken Hearts

Chapter 13

Life at the clubhouse isn't exactly perfect living, but I am close when someone needs help and I do see Jax more even with all the porn guard he is doing. ATF is still on watch which I know puts Clay on edge. I don't know what those guys are up to, I just hope they are being careful. I saw how Donna was when Opie was locked up and I don't think I can go through that.

They still can't figure out who keeps going are caracara and who broke into the house. I'm working mostly night shifts so I don't have to deal with nights at the clubhouse. The house should be finished with all the security installs by the end of the week and I can't wait to sleep in my own bed.

I am walking through the hospital to check on a patient when I see Luanne and one of her girls in the waiting room holding an ice pack on her nose. I walk over to them.

"Hey Luanne what happened?" I question.

"Oh Tara thank God you're on tonight do you think you can look at Lila's face?" she said looking up at me.

"Yeah sure follow me" I say leading the way to an exam room.

"This is the Doc, Jax's old lady she's really good" I head Luanne explaining to the girl.

When we get to the exam room Luanne goes to fill out some paperwork.

"So now that Luanne is gone can you tell me how this happened" I said working on her face.

"This wasn't her fault, Luanne is a great boss. It's stupid and embarrassing." She said dropping her head. I didn't say anything. "So are you really Jax's old lady?" she asked.

I sighed. "Yupp that's me". Normally I would have thought she was into him with the worry in her voice when asking, but I could tell it was something else. "You disappointed?" I asked double checking.

Her head popped up. "me? No, Imma will be, but she's a bitch anyway. You don't know who I am do you?"

"You're one of Luanne's girls" I said.

"Yes, but also recently I've been seeing Opie and I know him and Jax are best friends and you've known him since high school and I mean if he didn't mention it you that must mean something right?" she explained dropping her head again.

I turned around to face her. I was so wrapped up in my own stuff that Opie didn't think he could tell me he was dating again. My heart went out to this girl and what it must make her feel that I had no idea about their relationship.

"It doesn't mean anything that he hasn't told me yet" I say trying to comfort her.

"Yeah right" she snorts at me.

"No really, with everything with the house getting broken in and with the accident" I said slowing down.

"Yeah I heard about everything with your….family and stuff" she said shyly.

"And Opie knows that Donna was my best friend. He is probably afraid I will think it is too soon, like he is trying to forget Donna or something".

"And is that how you feel?" she asked.

"I think Opie loved Donna more than anything, but she isn't here and isn't coming back. All I want is for him to be happy and I can tell he has been much happier the last few weeks so I say go for it."

"Thanks Doc" she said with a small smile.

"No problem and you are all fixed up hopefully the bruising won't be too bad."

"Doesn't matter I'm not doing another film with that guy again, it's all his fault" I gave her a questioning look but didn't push with words. "We always do a run through for placing the cameras and stuff before we shoot. And during filming George Clooney thought he would switch it up and when he did that surprising me and the camera guy he moved his leg and to avoid kicking a camera kicked my nose instead."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. She joined in my laughing.

"That is a good one, you wanna hear a funny story? I asked thinking back to my senior year of high school.

* * *

**Flashback**

"Jax where are we going?" I asked sitting in the passenger side of my dad's cutlass that we barrowed.

"I told you it is a surprise" Jax said with a smirk that found its way up to his eyes.

"and I told you I hate surprises" I reminded him.

"I know" he said with a small laugh.

"I know that I will get it out of you" I said moving closer to him in the driver's seat.

"Tara that is not going to work" he said keeping both hands on the steering wheel.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Don't what me, you know exactly what you are doing and it is not going to work" he said dropping his eyes on me for a quick second before returning them to the road.

"Fine" I said in a huff quickly moving as far into the passenger side and away from Jax as I could.

We didn't talk for the rest of the ride. I kept my eyes staring out the window and didn't realize where we were until he said "we're here" and I realized I had been there many times before.

"The cove? Really Jax we have been here a million times." I said being as short as I could with him. The cove is where high schoolers went to park to hook up I rolled my eyes at the thought.

"yes but this time is special." He said moving closer to me.

I stared him down without saying a word.

"We have been dating for what a year" he started before I cut him off.

"Jackson Teller you know it has been two years" I said getting defensive.

He laughed. He knew he had gotten me.

He smiled "Ok two years and it has been a great two years. With us graduating and me patching in it makes me think about the future."

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked cutting him off.

"What?" he asked shocked.

"You're breaking up with me. I mean really Jax you couldn't think of a better way to do this. I get it you're patched in which means you have crow eaters throwing themselves at you and lord knows your dick has a mind of it's own but really you are a jackass. I guess I should be thankful you are doing this before you bring one of them up here."

He cut me off "I am not breaking up with you, you crazy women I am asking you to be my old lady."

I was speechless.

After a few moments he said "you could say something" sounding a little worried.

"You want me to be your old lady? That is like a serious thing."

"Well I want us to be a serious thing. I want those crow eaters to know that I am yours and if you got a crow then everyone will know to stay away." He said brushing his hand across my cheek.

"you want me to get a crow?" I asked still in shock.

"yes I want you to get a crow." He said leaning down and giving me a soft kiss. The only way I could respond was to pull him closer to my body and deepen the kiss. His kisses were like oxygen to me and I needed him more than ever before. Clothes were coming off but not quick enough for me. We were both down to our underwear when we heard a hard knock on the window. When we sat up we saw police lights through the fogged windows.

"shit shit shit" I cursed as I tried to search for my clothes. I knew if I got taken into custody again my father was going to kill me. My head was still disoriented and when I went to bend down to pick up my shirt I hit my face against the window knob. I grabbed my face, I knew it was going to bruise. Jax and I got out of the car me holding me face.

We saw chief Unser standing in front of us. When he saw me holding me face he rushed over to my side.

"God damn Jax what did you do." He asked a little panicked.

I laughed a little "he didn't do anything I hit my face by accident."

It took another 20 minutes before I was able to convince Unser that it really was my own fault. That week I got to face the principal and counselor at school because they both thought that I was in an abusive relationship.

Lyla laughing brought me back to reality.

"Jax and I just got back in the house but I would like for you and Opie to come to dinner tomorrow night." I said trying to make her feel more welcome.

"We would have to find sitters for the kids." She said unsure.

"Bring them its about time that house saw some family time and Opie is family which makes you family" I said smiling.

"Ok" she said standing up. When she got to the door she turned around. "Thanks" she said before walking out the door.


	15. Home

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update, I am having a huge case of writers block. I hope you enjoy the next chapters. I am going to try and wrap it up soon so I can get started on a different story. Please Review!**

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The Charming PD released the house after it was no longer considered a crime scene. I had spent over a week at the clubhouse and was climbing the walls the go back home.

I made my way to the house early in the morning.

Even though I had told Jax that I didn't want any help he sent Juice and the prospect to come help me which I was eventually happy to have.

They helped me clean the living room and kitchen and get rid of all the furniture that was torn up. Plus Juice had installed a new alarm system for the whole house which made me feel much better about being in the house alone. When we were finished cleaning the house looked almost normal, I would have to go shopping for new living room furniture, but it looked like my home again. The guys put up a fight about leaving, they wanted to stay until Jax got home, but I kicked them out knowing that I had to be ok in the house by myself sooner or later and it might as well be sooner.

I was reading in bed when I heard the door open and Jax shuffle through the house and finally making his way to the bedroom.

"You know the alarm only works if you turn it on" Jax said taking off his jewelry and placing it on the dresser while watching me in the mirror.

I didn't even look up from my book to respond, "you don't know the code which means I would have had to get out of bed to turn it off and I didn't feel like doing that"

"Juice texted me the code, so you need to get in the habit of setting it Tara." He turns around to see me still reading. "Tara I am being serious" he said walking over to my side of the bed and pulling the book out of my hands and setting it on the nightstand.

"Fine I will make sure from now on I always set the code no matter what" I say reaching for my book, but being stopped by his hand.

"Babe stop I want to talk to you." Jax said pushing my book farther away with his other hand.

"ok, what do you want to talk about?" I ask pulling my legs up so he has room to sit down on the bed.

"The house looks good" he said smiling.

"Thanks it took all day, but I'm glad its done. I made some dinner and put it in the fridge for you, do you want me to heat some up for you?" I ask pulling the sheet off my legs to get up.

"No thanks hon I ate at the clubhouse." He said pulling the sheets back over my legs.

"I'm gonna go jump in the shower." Jax said standing up and pulling off his sweatshirt.

"Jax" I say stopping him before he reaches the door. "There was someone here today inspecting the house" I say not wanting to upset him.

"Can we talk about it after I get out of the shower?" he asked.

"sure" I say after a moment. I grab my book off my nightstand while Jax walks into the bathroom.

When he walks back into the bedroom I am laying on my side with my eyes closed. He thinks I am asleep but I hear everything. I feel the bed dip down on his side as his climbs under the covers slowly trying not to wake me. I know that we need to have the conversation about the ATF agent, but as he wraps his arms around me and I breathe in the smell of his shampoo I can't be the one the burst the bubble that we are in. So I put it out of my head for the night and fall asleep, comfortable that I am back in my own home.


	16. Protection

**Authors Note: So the flashbacks might appear in some chapters and not appear in others. It is getting hard to keep track of everything, but I am working on adding it to more future chapters. Let me know what you think about the story without the flashbacks.**

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Chapter 15

TARA POV

When I got off work I had three messages from Gemma asking for help for the Annual Charming Fundraiser, this year they were raising money for the elementary schools music program. All the SONS would be there and she needed support from the old ladies. I replayed the message twice to see if I heard it right. In the eleven plus years I could count the times she called me an old lady on one hand.

I went home and got changed as quick as possible and headed out to the fundraiser. When I got there everything was in full swing. I went over to the food table to help Gemma set up. While I helped her I looked around for Jax. There were families playing arcade games and on the rides. There were booths from many of the local businesses even the Charming PD had a booth. It was one person in particular that caught my eyes, Agent Kohn was there making friends with Deputy Chief Hale. I must have been watching them for a while cause Gemma came over to check in on me.

"What you lookin' at sweetheart?"

"That guy with Hale. His name is Joshua Kohn, he is with ATF. He was at the house when I went through assessing the damage. I said keeping my eye on him.

"What was ATF doing sniffing around your house?" Gemma asked sternly.

"I have no idea, but I'm sure the boys will find out once Jax finds out.

"I'll try and talk to Unser, see if he knows anything about our ATF friend" Gemma said following my gaze to Kohn.

"Thanks Gemma, I'm gonna go get the rest of the plates and napkins out of my car" I say turning and walking toward my car. I was taking everything out of my trunk when I felt someone beside me. I turned to find Agent Kohn a little too close for my comfort and took a step back in surprise.

"Dr. Knowles I thought you could use some help" he said taking a step toward me.

"That's nice of you, but I can handle it" I say taking another step back.

"I've been meaning to talk to you Tara, do you mind if I call you Tara? He asked.

Even though it made me uncomfortable I nodded no, not wanting to start anything that might fall back on the club.

"Wonderful, well Tara I was wondering how you were feeling moving back into your house, cause if you would like some security I am available to help you" he said smiling.

"That's a nice offer, but Jax has everything taken care of".

"Oh that's right I forgot about the biker boyfriend. That seems like a weird relationship the doctor and the biker."

"No offense but my relationship is none of your business" I say getting defensive.

"No but your boyfriend illegal business dealings are my business and when he goes to jail your security might slip and who knows what could happens."

With his words my stomach started to turn. I didn't know what to say. My whole body jumped when someone put their hand on my waist, but was comforted when I heard his voice.

"Is there a problem here?" Jax asked pulling me toward him and wrapping his arm around me.

"No Mr. Teller. I was just offering my help to Dr. Knowles" Kohn said taking a step back with a smile.

"And you are?" Jax asked pulling me closer to his body.

"I'm sorry where are my manners, Agent Joshua Kohn ATF" he said handing Jax his card.

"Well agent Kohn I'm here to help my girl so please feel free to enjoy the festival." Jax said in a fake polite voice.

"Of course, Tara is was a pleasure speaking with you, think about my offer." He said smiling as he walked away.

Jax kept his eyes on Kohn until he was out of sight.

"What was that about, do you know him?" Jax asked taking the plates out of my car.

"No not really he was at the house with Unser the day the cops walked through the house with me. He gives me the creeps" I said closing the trunk and beginning to walk back to Gemma's booth.

"He was at the house? What offer was he talking about?" Jax asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"I think he was offering to be my security guard. He said when you go to jail my security will be up in the air and things could happen" I say. Jax stops walking. I move to stand in front of him.

"Did he mention anything about SAMCRO?"

"No nothing he was more fishing for information about us." I say looking him in the eyes.

"What" Jax said in a loud voice.

"Calm down, I told him it was none of his business, " I say looking around to see if anyone was watching us, which no one was.

"That's it you are not going anywhere without protection, someone is with you all the time, do you understand me?"

"Jax you are overreacting" I say trying to down play the whole situation.

"No, no I'm not. Not after last time, I can't have anything else happen to you, do you understand me?"

"yes ok fine" I say knowing the guilt he has felt the last couple weeks. "but can we just enjoy tonight with the family and not worry about ATF until tomorrow."

I could see Jax thinking about it and not want to give in, so I gave him the eyes until I saw him begin to give in. "fine" he finally said.

"No Jax I mean it, no slipping away to tell the guys what just happened. Do you understand me?" I said in my most forceful voice.

"Yeah fine, I get it, you know you can be really pushy sometimes" he said with a smirk.

"Yes and you love it" I said leaning in real close but pulling away before he could kiss me. "Come on Gemma is probably wondering where we are" I said over my shoulder walking away with the plates.

"Tease" he yelled running after me and pulling my hips close to him when he caught up with me.

I was glad that he was putting off Kohn until tomorrow but for me it wasn't that easy to put it away.


End file.
